When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are, instead of what you think they should be.–Mandy Hale
One of the predominant traits of many people is that we all expect something in return from others. This at times causes heartburn or frustration. I believe one of the keys to happiness lies with the management of your expectations of people and circumstances. If you do not have expectations, you can never be disappointed. If you’re a fan of Charles Dickens, you know that great expectations can lead to house fires and being pursued by escaped convicts.
Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t.–Dr. Steve
This is especially more true in relationships where over expectations from others leads to frustration and it effects your health. The best way to avoid such a trap is to start taking responsibility of our lives and the way we interpret the circumstances before we can expect to do the same. “Be emotionally intelligent to cope with unwanted distress.”
One of the biggest challenges we face is to accept the people the way they are. I have come across many families where relationship breaks due to non fulfillment of one’s expectation from other. The best way to deal with this trap is to accept the people they way they are since you cannot force your wishes to get fulfilled by them.
Make it a life mantra “Give without expectations and accept without reservation”.
One of my acquaintances who got married about a decade ago still carries a grudge, as he always felt that his spouse was not what he expected her to be. He succumbed to self depreciation resulting in mental stress. Had he accepted his second half the way she was, he would have not wasted his precious moments of togetherness!
One of the major pitfalls of over expectation is that it creates a myopic view of life and keeps you away from happiness. When you have unrealistic notions of people you place yourself at disadvantage of hurt and frustration. It is okay if someone lets you down but isn’t inherently unfair to have these people on such a pedestal? By being aware of others, you will be able to determine what is expected out of others.
“Expect the unexpected; believe in the unbelievable in this beautiful journey of life.
Accepting circumstances and people the way they are, is the cornerstone of happiness and needs to be actively worked on. You can avoid heartburn in relationship if you accept the other person the way he/she is and the same holds true with a situation no matter how ugly it is. Always evaluate the positive side than getting disappointed and frustrated and move on.