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Individuality versus misplaced identity

by Vijay Singh Share via -

Just be you, there is no one better.”  Taylor Swift

 Not all human beings are the same and yet some of us are image conscious that we pretend to be something, which we are not. People should have their own thoughts and emotions to have their own identity.


A lucky few of us are charismatic and comfortable in all social situations. However, most people suffer from some degree of self-consciousness at times and alter their behavior in an effort to appeal to others. This begins in childhood and becomes a habit we carry throughout our lives. The pressure to conform resides in most of us.

 How much do you pretend to gain acceptance from others? Interestingly, the people we admire the most are those that make no effort to conform. We admire individuality.

 You can be of your own by following these tips:

 v  Be Unique: Do not change your style and do not purposefully oppose it either. Dress the way you like rather what others will feel about it.

 v  Focus on others. The best way to avoid of being self-conscious is to focus on others. If you are conscious on yourself than the chances are that you will be focusing on your appearance, posture, cloths and words. Eliminate this self-scanning behavior and you will feel much more comfortable. Notice your environment. If someone is speaking to you, focus on his or her face and words. Your ability to focus outside yourself will grow with practice.

 v  Enhance your self-esteem pretending to be something you are not suggests that you believe you are not good enough in some way. However, you have done some amazing things in your life. Focus on your positive qualities. Remind yourself of your successes. Most importantly, leave your failures and regrets in the past.

 v  Love and trust yourself. You have accepted that you are different, now you have to love it! Be happy that you are not like the other person. Trust yourself before you can trust anyone else.

 v  Mind your anxiety. There are many tools to lower anxiety, but it is most effective to use them when your feelings of anxiousness begin to rise. When you are highly stressed, it is much more challenging to get your emotions back under control. When you first notice yourself becoming uncomfortable, focus on taking slow, deep breaths. Redirect your focus to your breath and your environment. Your previous thoughts resulted in your anxiety, so change them.

 v  Identify your purpose in life and live it   Do you know your purpose in life? When you can answer that question definitively, the social pressure will wane.


Imagine your parents are gone Even people in their 50’s and 60’s are still worried about disappointing their parents. What would you do differently right now, if your parents were gone? A parent’s influence is never gone completely, but most of us give them more power than is reasonable. As adults, parents only have the power we give to them.

 v  Do one thing you have been avoiding It can be something small, but jump in the deep end and do something new. It might be getting a tattoo or singing Karaoke. Maybe you have always wanted to take ballet lessons!

Realize that your time is limited everyone is destined to go someday, so there is little reason to worry. Anything you are worried about now will be meaningless in the distant future. Have fun and enjoy your life.

 Please remember that the many people that we admire the most have many detractors too. Break free of the social pressure and discover as to how you can make a difference to the world by your own identity.


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