How a life coach helps

  • 18th May, 2016
  • By : Vivek Slaria

One of the most common questions I get as a coach is - Does coaching really work?  Most times, I ignore the question because it does not work. Nothing works, till we chose to make it work. So a session with a coach won’t help you - till the time you chose to make it work. Once you have made that choice, you become a seeker and that is when life coaching works.

These are the three steps with which a coach can help after you become a seeker.

1.       Simplify

A coach helps simplify the choices that are available to you. Typically a coach would question you to help you sort through the whole internal dialogue you are probably having with self. As you sort through your internal dialogue, you narrow down to the one choice that truly makes a difference to you.

 A coach then further drills down on the option selected to help you understand why you truly want to do what you want to do. This brings out the purpose of the task and its importance in your life. This is the WHY of things. WHY matters. It helps you be crystal clear on the reason you want to do something and the benefit you expect out of it. Simon Senek famously states that leaders answer WHY. Everyone else focuses on the “What” and “How”. 

 This ability to walk through the internal dialogue meaningfully, sift the choices, narrow down to one and know why is it important is the single most important thing in life. Winston Churchill very famously states, there are two days in a man’s life. The day on which he is born and the day on which he discovers himself. A coach helps you discover the second day.

With your WHY question answered, a coach is able to help you remain super focused on just that one choice.  This he does by up skilling.

2.       Up skill

A coach helps you up skill yourself in a skill called life. This will be through implementable techniques that they practice. Some of the most common techniques include neurolinguistic programming, mediation, science of habits among a lot of others.

It is amazing how many of us are not able to live our full lives because these basic techniques are not available to us. A coach helps us get that knowledge and also guides us in implementing the skill in our daily lives to achieve our goal.

A coach further opens our eyes to a whole new world of knowledge that we may not be aware of or have closed ourselves to.

 I once had a coachee who wanted to lose weight. I realized that the problem was not in the equation of calories but with the equation within self. Because of her weight problem, the coachee had very low self esteem. She was not comfortable with spirituality and self love - she equated that to religion. Through the coaching process she was helped undo her past beliefs and be more open to loving self through spirituality. Once this barrier was passed, she lost weight automatically, without any deprivation or stringent diet regime.

 3.       Persevere

A great journey always begins with the first step of determination. It is sustained by the sweat of perseverance. A coach helps you stay committed in the journey of achieving your goals.

A coach helps you persevere by helping you create routines that pull you forward, reminding you of the reason why you started, questioning you when the belief is faltering and motivating you when you are tired.  

Do remember, a coach is a person just like you - he has just walked the road a little before you. Gain from this knowledge - do not repeat the old mistakes. Make new ones.

 
Vivek Slaria is the CEO of twelveweek.com. Book a session with him at www.twelveweek.com

 




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